Reason to be hardworking?

I do not know why, everyone though i am a very hardworking person... but i think compare to those who really deserved the name " hardworking" is way hardworking than me. Some though i am the person who spend 24 hours in the desk, reading books. But to be honest i spend 24 hours in front of computer, o well no one believe that. But i think in the end i will end up becoming a hardworking person, imaging now i spending almost more and more time with my textbooks, and the As exam is around the corner. I really need to pick up the pace and do more works.

Recently i discover something new, i finally realize why most of my friend become so hardworking. Because they are poor? Because they need to prove to their parents what they really capable of? The reason is way beyond than this. Just like one of my friend, she lost her father when she was young, so she wanted to repay her mother who sacrifice all out for her family, so she work so hard that she even gave up her feminine personality. But things surely comes to her, she successfully get her scholar from government, reduce her parents pressure. And one of my another friend, who has a stupid dad, gave up on his family and leave his wife with 2 of his son. In the end my friend dont wan to see his mother to suffer, he work hard to repay his mother..

Then what about me? I dont have a sad past, and i got a wonderful family, compare to others. Then why i need to be so hardworking in the first place? I wonder... until i realize, i am such a bastard after all, i never did something good in return, trying to be a joker in the end just said the wrong thing; trying to help in the end only make things more chaotic; even wanted to make someone happy, in the end make the person hate me....what a jerk i am.

Nothing can change a loser when a person gave up. What can i do? I am such a kia shu person after all. I always refuse to be a loser, especially my friends started to challenge me for the upcoming exam!! No ice kacang if u did not get straight A in your As exam!!! Thi s is what they said, i relly meant it. Who say i cannot, i will show u that!!! So i starting to work hard since beginning of my college studies, but the main reason is not just that. The thing is i could not protect what i precious most and i really dont wan to make that mistake again, history will take it's course but not meant to be repeated again.

But since recently because of sickness and mentally discomfort i become quite exhausted. I really wanna give up the exam, take a good rest and start over again...maybe i will feel better if i go watch the Olympic opening ceremony. Before that, someone message me, its her. So long i have not contacted her, i wonder how she is now. Ignore the tradition chat, i think the best is mention the coming Olympic... as usual we have a chat using messenger but in the end she gonna go to watch olympic. I thought maybe i tell her some olympic opening ceremony scenes she will be starting to "hate" me (she cannot watch in time ^^). but in the end i hear her father is driving so quickly to reach home. Omg , i think i need to stop texting about olympics, her life is in stake!!! Worried for a moment, she finally reach home, huh can relax now, i think the best now i start study rather than chat about how beautiful the opening ceremony are, let her enjoy it... After sending the reply i starting to pick up my book, but the exhausted mind of mine kept make me felt sleepy. Arr i think i cannot tahan d. maybe i take a good rest and try to wake up early in the morning, which what i really hate to do... Just before i wanna go brush my teeth. Duu duu duu. " Then i dont wan to disturb u la, gambateh in your study and good luck in your exam...." Stupid... you are not disturbing me la. I wonder why, her words always are the booster dose for me, the reasons why everytime be so hardworking... It has been a long time since i hear these words again, and i thought i will never see this again... Thank you.....

" Legs? ok! Hands? OK! Head? ok!!" I think i will need to put back my toothbrush, and find back all my books. Let the wheel revolve again