Feeling of a loser...

Today is the worst day this year!!! I receive my results from the examination centre, with high expectation, and yet what i get is a straight B!!!!( except an A for stats, but honestly i rather accept it as straight B). I really very angry, is not about the examination , is about myself, i cannot stand losing ( a.k.a. kiasu). But not losing to other person, is about losing to myself. ( i have a great lesson about comparing myself to another, and in the end i get all the suffering). I aim to improve every time, in every exam, and yet wat i get is totally reverse of the previous exam, i cannot stand myself for being so weak, i cannot stand myself getting worst and worst!! What can i do? I will not find any excuses for my own wrong beings, and yet i cannot find anyone to blame. I will take all the responsible, and I promise my next one will be the BEST of all!! ( I cannot ignore myself from being greedy after losing so much in the past)

After getting the results, i kinda emo... OK i admit i am emo, chia yang u should also admit urself to be emo too!! I starting to get the feeling of losing everything i have again, that feeling of a true loser, even when u want to sacrifice, u dont have anything to sacrifice.. I kinda get use to that feeling long time ago, but i starting to hate it since the beginning of the year. But why i started to hate to be a loser? Since the beginning of the year, i do not wish anyone to prove that i am a hardworking or intelligent person; i do not wish people to start taking my homework and copy. I think i am just emo, or maybe i do not have a choice? Since what she had told me... i have no choice but to be better than anyone else...but even i am a better person now, will she knows? I think the best choice is a no, she do not wish to know anything about me, i am just imagining after all....

I always have an imagination of " If one day I changed myself to be a better person ( in term of successful person) than what i am right now, i will get back the things that belongs to me". But it is only pure imagination, it is?