Goodbye, another me

It was 12am in the morning and i just came back from the class gathering held in alfie house. It has been 2 years since i last meet all my old classmates, since alfie and some of the people are leaving soon, they make this gathering so that all of us can meet again, it was very tiring for me since i just finish my exam at the afternoon, and i need to rush to fetch cheng chun, and go to CHS.

When i reached alfie house it has already taken half of my energy away, so i guess i need a good nap to recharge,however, sue ping kept annoying me, haiz i guess i cannot do that, why dont i just relax and enjoy this moment. Wan teng is here, sue ping like to shout out loud everytimes she is here. Even jian de likes to do that, until now, but wat i do is just ignore it, ya i ignore it, as if nothing have happen, why do i need to do like this?

It is quite frustrating, jian de told me before, during the gathering, he will speculated me and wanteng again, and seriously, i really hate that, i dont wan the old times to be repeated again, i dont wan to be rescued again. That leaves me no choice, i have to keep silence from her from the remainder of the gathering, if not jian de will come over and try to mock me again. But it is hard to me, i have always want to have a chance to talk to her, and now, i cannot do it? It is absurb, but i dont have a choice, and i know that very well.

That is not even the case, i starting to act weird in front of people. How come I cannot speak fluently, how come i cannot act normally? That the main idea, i just wan to look bad in front of her, even after 2 years, i still cannot overcome the biggest hole in my soul, which i thought it was already over, but the fact tells, it isnt. But stilll, after yesterday , i am no longer my old self anymore. Thanks for everything, your support, your words, yours action, it had made me to a better person, i appreciate that. But i promised, from today onwards, It will only be me, i no longer need support from you, you got your own life and i have mine, i no longer need to be supported, i no longer need to be pushed by someone else. I am all on my own now, with my determination and own reasons, although i dont know how far i can go without the usual support i get, but i guess, pressure will eventually leads me.

What ends Honey and Clover season 1?

How far can i go without looking back?

I end my old self with the same phrase