It was so emotoday, my chem practical is a failure, mainly because i lost my head when my titration calculation get more than what i expected. And seriously, i know what is the chemical that is used.. and because of that i write it on the last questions. Arr, worst mistake of my life, because of that, i have a chance of getting sue, of cheating!!! All my calculation are wrong, and only my final answer correct, what do u think if u r the examiner... so nervous le, cannot sleep whole night, thinking what will be next, but as my friend said, u cannot do anything about it, so just forget about it and focus what on the next one. Seriously i know that, but i just need someone, or something, or sometime to settle down.

Just after chem practical, i went back to kampung the next day, it is a 3 hour journey as usual, but this time it is with my pillow, my mum say it looks so dirty, but it is comfortable for me though, because it has been years since i use this pillow, every secret chat to myself, crying, when i need something to hug, i will hid under my pillow, sounds like a girl huh. If i not doing this, i will end up being a sad bastard everyday, cannot complain about my own life. In kampung, it is boring, i thought i can end up reading some of my exercise during this period. Unexpectectly, even the house is covered with trees, and chickens, even turkeys, it is ridiculously HOT!!! What is this, jungle warming? Or should i say KAMPUNG WARMING.... Whatever, the fact that i cannot study under hot weather, that only thing to do is? Sleeep.... Ok there goes my perfect plan of study. There are a lot of private matter in my mother side, so actually i just kept myself distance away, i really dont wan to get involve in adults matter.

Sleep after sleep after sleep, i starting to get bored with sleeping, so i check my phone, i starting to think of nonsense again, like i always do when i get bored, i get into blog, i saw something unusual, the guy actually told her something she should not know...but what can i do, if i do anything it will end up worst, but fell so powerless when u did not do anything. But i can see she is quite dependant, she trying to said that she can manage it herself. But what makes me angry is...( I will try to forget him). Stupid fella, how u can forget someone who is so precious to u, just like when u r the little girl, u need to give away the lolipop that u love most. It is impposible to forget someone, but u can remember the happy memories that happen before, just like when u lick on lolipop, the sweetness that will remembered in ur heart, forever....

I even went to friendster, uploaded with some photoes, i suddenly remembered she told me before, I am going for a camp after my exam. O right, here is the photoes, and i saw a lot of new faces, and even some of them is from different races. It shocked me, a person who is said to be quite non-talkative, actually get to know some new friends to get along very well with, she is really getting stronger and mature day by day. And yet what am i doing here, doing nothing, trying to escape some oppurnities, wasting time. I am regret of myself, i told myself wanna be a better person than her, and yet i am just my oldself again. I think i just need to be more cruel to myself starting from today.I promise, i definetely be better person who u know, ok?

The day after chem practical.. i starting to calm down myself d. Ok , it is time to get serious again, this time, i definetely will remember, the day when u kept saying sorry to me, and the day when i feel that i am the worst person in this world, and because of that, i will be stronger.