Yesterday is my birthday!! What can i say? What do i expect? And what the other expect? They kept asking me got go where go where or not, say got special girl wish u or not, say got and person pos laju present for u or not. Woo, they really joking or expecting too much? To be honest i quite impress with my college friends, i know they are going to make a party celebration in class, and i think if i follow their plan, things will turn out quite well, better dont spoil the fun XD. So just pretend to be innocent will do. In the end, i really hit progress base on my prediction, to let pei zen to hold the birthday cake is really under my calculation, but i really dont have a way to encounter it, so i think just follow the prosedure will do. In the end, it ends up quite well, and i get a wallet and a pencilbox for my present, haha everyone thought i not appreciate it, but to be honest i quite " gan dong". No one actually gave me present like this before...XD, paiseh to tell. And yet, more to come!!! I get some "sponsor" to go pyramid on 27th yeah!! And i get a Myvi as my present!! But need to wait till nov =.=

I dont know why people like to talk about me and pei zen. Because our name alike? I doubt =.=. But to be honest i dont like people spread relationship rumours, because last time in secondary, people starting to spread rumour between me and her, and because of that she... That one is my worst mistake, and yet i do not do anything to prevent it. All i know is the person who actually spread rumour is the one who say will kept it as a secret =.=. Thats the time i never trust anyone in my life again. Why she want to spread rumour about me and her? I really want to ask, i really want to scold her, but i cant. There are lots of reasons, and i cannot deny the fact that she likes me =.= ( i rather jump from 10 storey building =.=). But so, things already over, i cannot do anything now, so i just categorized as one of my mistakes, of trusting people.

The day that i birthday i kept log into friendster, checking comment and message all that. I dont know why, i just wanna log into it. Worst to come, my "sister" who is not my real sister, make it so clear that she want to chase me. OMG, last time when i say u r my "sister" forever, which is a obvious rejection, the next time she say she attempt to kill herself.... And after 2 month she get a bf, which i very happy with her, but broke after a month, say she dont wan to continue. Haiz, now i really dont know how to do...... Maybe the next time i need to say it more obviously

I wonder, how many people that i have rejected? Until now is 3, and non of them is obvious rejection. I really cannot tell them that " sorry u r my friend only, no futher than that" and then just walk off. The reason is, i dont wan to lose them. And more importantly, i actually saw the image of myself from them, a person u like actually dont like u, i really dont like that feeling. The feeling of loneliness... and not realizing that beside that person, they still got thier friends beside them.

Actually i think the main reason that i kept log into friendster is... i hope i can get a birthday comment from her.... last year she never gave one to me, and that is the time i really accept all the facts. And now all i hope is, i still can be a friend, so at least, a happy birthday is enough. Thats all i wish for my 18th birthday, but till now it is still not there. I wonder, in the end, i am just a stranger.. after all